Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
