I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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