ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I stole a fireplace last night.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
