I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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