U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
