I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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