Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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