The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
