Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
birth control should be required to get into college
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
