also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
