that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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