It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
