i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
smell my finger.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
