apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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