can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
