I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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