Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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