idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
