theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize