Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
