If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize