as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
