my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
