M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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