this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
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Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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