a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
