I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
