Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
