Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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