I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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