Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
