i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
