I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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