We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
