i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
