Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
