Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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