dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Come back. Shots need mouths.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
