not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
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IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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