I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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