you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Alive.
So much puke
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
