There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
