there was a trapeze. enough said
where does the pee come out of this thing
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
