Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
