i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
