Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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