Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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