And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
