Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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