I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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