Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
