Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
