i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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