That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
