Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
