After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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