Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
