i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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