i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We talked him into tasing himself.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
