DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
