sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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